51 Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes That Will Roundhouse Kick Your Funny Bone

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A muscular man resembling Chuck Norris, wearing a sleeveless denim shirt, American flag bandana, and cowboy boots, punches a roaring grizzly bear. In the background are Mount Rushmore, a waving U.S. flag, a bald eagle in flight, and a fighter jet soaring through the sky.
If you've been on the internet for more than five minutes, chances are you've heard of Chuck Norris jokes—those legendary one-liners that elevate the martial arts icon to mythical status. From his supernatural strength to his infinite wisdom, Chuck Norris isn't just a man—he's a meme. And he's not fading into obscurity any time soon.

In honor of the legend himself, we’ve rounded up 50 of the best Chuck Norris jokes of all time, including six brand-new originals you won’t find anywhere else. Whether you’re here to reminisce or discover some fresh roundhouse-worthy zingers, this list will not disappoint.

🤠 The Best Chuck Norris Jokes of All Time

Classic Chuck Norris Jokes (1–45)

  1. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

  2. When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

  3. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep—he waits.

  4. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

  5. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

  6. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

  7. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

  8. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

  9. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

  10. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

  11. Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

  12. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

  13. Chuck Norris can hear sign language.

  14. Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.

  15. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

  16. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

  17. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

  18. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know the rest.

  19. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

  20. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on. He turns the dark off.

  21. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

  22. When Google can’t find something, it asks Chuck Norris.

  23. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until they give him the information.

  24. Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

    A powerful man resembling Chuck Norris, wearing a bandana and denim, rides a roaring T. rex through the Grand Canyon. He grills ribs on a small charcoal grill mounted to the dinosaur, with an American flag, a soaring bald eagle, and a fighter jet in the sky behind him.

  25. Chuck Norris can hear a mime.

  26. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now simply called “The Islands.”

  27. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

  28. Chuck Norris can win a game of solitaire with someone else's cards.

  29. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

  30. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.

  31. When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

  32. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

  33. Chuck Norris can grill underwater.

  34. Chuck Norris’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

  35. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

  36. Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at Burger King—and got one.

  37. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

  38. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest… with his eyes closed.

  39. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

  40. Chuck Norris makes happy meals cry.

  41. Chuck Norris’s blood type is AK-47.

  42. Chuck Norris can unscramble an omelet.

  43. Chuck Norris once parallel parked a train.

  44. Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS. He decides where he is.

  45. Chuck Norris once broke a mirror and got seven years of good luck.

🔥 Original Chuck Norris Jokes (46–50)

These are fresh out of the dojo—five original Chuck Norris jokes you won’t find anywhere else:


  1. Chuck Norris once sent a text message by blinking at a toaster.

  2. Chuck Norris’s Fitbit calls him to see how it’s doing.

  3. Chuck Norris doesn’t recycle—nothing dares to break down around him.

  4. Chuck Norris doesn’t lose followers. People disappear.

  5. When Chuck Norris does CPR, the Grim Reaper backs off and whispers, “My bad, wrong guy.”

  6. Chuck Norris has a soft side. It’s made of diamond.

💬 Final Roundhouse Thoughts

Chuck Norris jokes are more than just internet humor—they're a tribute to the idea that anything is possible when you have a beard, a roundhouse kick, and a steely stare. Whether you’re cracking up over the classics or showing off our originals, there’s no denying the cultural punch these jokes still pack.

Love Chuck Norris jokes? Share this post, save your favorites, and keep the legend alive. And remember: Chuck Norris doesn’t go viral—the internet catches Chuck Norris.

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