Edgar Allen Poe - The Raven - Happy Halloween

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Happy Halloween

Edgar Allan Poe
The Raven
[First published in 1845]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. `'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door - Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore. Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door - Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, `Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!' Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore; For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door - Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only, That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon

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So I found this website that links any actor to Kevin Bacon within six movies. Most of my searches resulted in just two movies of celebration. My high score is only three. Here are some examples:

Angelina Jolie
was in Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
with Ali Marsh
was in Picture Perfect (1997)
with Kevin Bacon


Colin Farrell
was in Daredevil (2003)
with John Rothman
was in Picture Perfect (1997)
with Kevin Bacon

Paris Hilton
was in The Cat in the Hat (2003)
with Clint Howard
was in End of the Line (1987)
with Kevin Bacon

Check out The Oracle of Bacon.

Understanding Men and Women

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Thanks Craig!

Going to Gap to Buy Pants

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Thanks Craig!

The Woman Element

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Thanks Craig!

Hen and Puppy

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Because it's cute that's why. What? Because I'm a man I can't find a chicken sitting on a puppy cute? Well screw you pal.


Via

Pope Joke

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After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I can't let you do that. I'd lose my job. What if something should happen?" protests the driver.

"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 100 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh no, I'm going to lose my license and my job!" moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 100 mph.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"

"Bigger."

"A senator?"

"Bigger."

"The Prime Minister?"

"Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"

"I think it's God!"

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"

"His chauffeur is the Pope."

Signs of Confusion

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22 Halloween Cakes

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I guess some of these aren't super Halloween-ish, just gross or creepy. But either way, they are pretty nifty.

A kitty litter cake, complete with pooper-scooper.


A rat cake. Wonder what the fur is made of.


Octopus attacking some sort of a thing, or some such thing.


A spooky zombie hand. Question. Why is the cake on someone's bed?


Another zombie cake. Revenge is delicious.


Perfect as a break-up cake.


Guys head on a saw blade.


This one kinds sucks, but I bet it's delicious.


Zombie arm.


Sweet it's a ribcage.


Ashtray.


Another delicious ribcage. The pancreas looks delectible.


Group of zombies cake.


Another one of the same variety.


Eyes, finger, ears and flesh.


A shark, with what I hope are fingers.


Skull. I like how it is red inside.


Jason cupcake. That's pretty sweet for a little cupcake. Notice the knife through the eye.


The magots in the neck are a nice touch.


Teef.


Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.

Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!

'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Yeah? Well "nevermore" this, stupid bird! You're dead! What up?


A pot cake of deliciousness.

Autistic Artist Draws NYC from Memory

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Traffic Stop Fail

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This guys is such a moron. If you can't tell the difference between reverse and drive, you shouldn't have a license.



Thanks Donna!

Sleep Walking and E-mail Don't Mix

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Researchers from the University of Toledo have reported the first ever case of someone using the internet while asleep, after a sleeping woman sent emails to people asking them over for drinks and caviar.

The 44-year-old woman, whose case is reported in the latest edition of medical journal Sleep Medicine, had gone to bed at around 10pm, but got up two hours later and walked to the next room.

She then turned on the computer, connected to the internet, and logged on to her email account. She then composed and sent three emails. Each was in a random mix of upper and lower cases, not well formatted and written in strange language.
Via

18 Dogs in Halloween Costumes

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It's Halloween time, and some people take advantage of the holiday to embarrass their dogs with silly costumes. Here are 18 pictures of the poor pooches:

An astronaut.


Superman-dog


Yep, he looks happy as Wonder Woman.


That fits.


Oscar the Grouch.


Lobster dog.


The Headless Horseman on his trusty steed. This one is pretty cool.


Giraffe dog.


Fast food Collies.


Yoda dog.


Cowboy pup.


Football player.


A shocked/scared looking dog.


Two hot dogs.


This one is cool. It's an alligator eating a dog.


An i-pooch.


A box of banana dogs.


It's that three headed dog from Harry Potter.


Photo sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10